one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
