At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
