I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize