Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
