so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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