Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
