Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
