Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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