We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
