Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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