Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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