addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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