awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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