Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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