Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
