why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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