i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
