oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
