Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
