So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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