i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
