it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
