Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize