You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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