Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
