3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
