Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
be right there i have to get my cape
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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