we're chasing vodka with high fives
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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