we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
