id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
