Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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