OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
