12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
