we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't deserve a penis
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
