if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
