He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
and she was petting her beer can
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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