you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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