home. puking in laundry basket.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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