You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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