I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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