i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
