What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
