rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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