do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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