I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
