Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
