then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
