so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
