if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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