We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize