i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
