We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
