Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
