Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
