Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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