"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize