Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
