Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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