girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize